What Beca Wants
by Reda V
Summary: After the ICCAs Beca is confused about her feelings for Chloe. Chloe tries to help Beca accept her feelings, but Beca is in denial. Will she realize her feelings before it's too late, or will she push Chloe away for good? DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY PART OF PITCH PERFECT. (Although, I would love to have any part of Anna...er..I mean the movie ] )
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

POV- Beca

It feels good to be back in the dorm after a long night of celebrating with the Bellas. So many things run through my mind as I lay here, staring at the ceiling.

So many thoughts. So many emotions…

_Does this mean I have a boyfriend now? _ I mean…I DID kiss him. Isn't that, like, means to start a relationship or something?

I develop a headache as I try to sort it out. _What was I thinking? _I just got so caught up in the moment. I mean, he's cute. And he's really sweet. But… I don't know if I'm ready for this.

BUZZ!

My thoughts are interrupted by the loud vibrations of my cell phone against the desk. Across the room, I hear Kimmy Jin stirring in her bed. I raise my arm to the desk, reaching blindly for my cell. After nearly patting the whole desk, my hand finds it.

_Whew!_ I sigh, bringing it down to me. For a second, I thought I was gonna have to get out of bed.

On the way down, I catch a glimpse of my phone display.

'1:26am- 1 Unread Message from Chloe'…

I feel the typical flutters that come with thoughts of her… As always, I just shrug it off.

_She's just a good friend. And I am happy to talk to her. That's normal…_

I tap the screen on my phone, opening the message. It reads:

_CHLOE: Are you still awake?_

I know where this is going… It's happened before.

Every now and then, Chloe and Aubrey will get into a bad argument and Chloe will spend the night with me. It always starts with a text asking if I'm still awake. I must admit: some nights I find myself waiting for her text. Hoping she'll come over.

Without thinking, I respond:

_BECA: Sure. Need a pillow? ;]_

I always joke with Chloe that I'm not the best shoulder to cry on, but I have nice soft pillows which she can sleep on and forget why she is even upset. One of my many perks, I must say.

BUZZZZZ!

_CHLOE: You know me too well. Can I come in?_

_So much for staying bed… _I flip the covers back and hop out of bed, tip-toeing across the dark room to the door so I don't wake Kimmy Jin.

I open the door to a different Chloe than I was expecting. Her eyes are red-brimmed. Worn. Sad. Lonely…

I can tell she's been crying. _God, I HATE it when she cries_

Instinctively, my hand raises to her cheek. "Chloe…?" I whisper. I pull her into an embrace, cradling her head to my shoulder. My other hand falls to her waist. I feel her hands on my back. It's almost as if they're pulling me in. Begging me not to let go. After a moment, I pull away and take her hand. I pull her into the dorm and shut the door quietly, leading her to the bed. I ease myself up onto the bed, pulling her with me. On our sides, she can see enough of my face and I can see just enough of hers. Just enough to see the shine of her teary blue eyes.

"Hey…" I whisper. "Wanna talk about it?"

She deliberates for a moment before shaking her head no.

_What the HELL is going on?_

With that, she rolls over, turning her back to me.

_I wonder what could have made her so upset?_

As if she can sense my concern, she reaches around and takes my hand, pulling my arm around her. She scoots closer. Putting her back to my chest…

I try my best to stay calm. Hoping my heart doesn't beat a hole in her back.

Before long, our bodies seem to melt into each other and I feel myself slip into a dark bliss.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

POV- Chloe

I wake with the sun, lifting my head from Beca's chest to see her face. As always, she's still asleep. As I watch her, I can't help but smile at her… at her faint smile and fluttering eyelids. She looks so calm. So peaceful.

_I wonder what she's dreaming about? What goes on in that beautiful head of hers?_

There is a loud creak then I hear her footsteps moving across the room. I don't have to turn around to know Beca's roommate just woke up and that she's rolling her eyes in disgust.

I let my head fall to Beca's chest as my thoughts return to the fight with Aubrey

**_The crowd went crazy as we wrapped up our final number of the performance. The Bellas were all FINALLY on the same page. We had the look and sound of a new group last night. It's just a shame it took so long for us to get to that point…_**

**_After the performance, I watched Beca leave the stage and join Jesse in the seats. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tender kiss. As tears began to sting my eyes, I joined the others in celebration. Fat Amy broke up the kiss between Jesse and Beca, dragging Beca along with us to Applebee's. _**

**_I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I wondered if she'd noticed. Occasionally, her gaze would meet mine and she'd flash that shy smile of hers. That awkwardly adorable smile where she raises her eyebrows, as if questioning something. _**

**_On the drive back to the dorm, Aubrey confronted me. It was amazing how intimidating she could be without even looking away from the road._**

**_"You really should've done something about that toner tonight. Everyone saw it. "_**

**_Knowing I was caught. I did what any normal person does... I played dumb. "You think I had a toner?"_**

**_Aubrey continued, ignoring me. "You've definitely had better taste, in the past. Like… I honestly don't get what it is that you see in her?"_**

**_ "You wouldn't," I defended Beca,"You don't know her like I do."_**

**_We continued our drive in silence. I thought I had won. But there is no winning when it comes to Aubrey. She will always have the last word. She IS her father's daughter, after all._**

**_Once we got back to the dorm, Aubrey started again. Irritation evident in her voice. "How exactly DO you know Beca, Chloe?"_**

**_I wasn't sure how to answer that. I plopped down on my bed as I began to think about Beca. All the moments we've had. All the secrets we've shared. "She just…GETS me. And I get her."_**

**_"Aca-SCUSE me?" Aubrey's voice raised. "She 'GETS' you?" Aubrey repeated, air-quoting with her fingers to emphasize how stupid she thought it sounded. _**

**_ She continued, harshly, "She 'GETS' that you have feelings for her…and she 'GETS' that you feed on every bit of hope she gives you… but despite all of that, she'd rather be with Jesse than you?" _**

**_That struck a nerve… I just couldn't fathom why my BEST FRIEND, of all people, was giving me such a hard time. The woman I grew up with. Shared everything with. We're practically sisters…_**

**_And the one thing I needed my sister to do was be there for me. I was still broken up over seeing Beca with Jesse. And Aubrey, in that "tough love" way of hers, figured she'd add salt to the wound. _**

**_I left as quickly as I could. Without looking back. I needed to get out of there. Just to get some air… _**

**_But I ended up here. With the source of all my problems._**

As if she can sense me getting upset, Beca begins to rub my back in her sleep. Tenderly. Gradually slower until she submerges fully into her sleep again.

_Why aren't we together?_

I ask myself EVERYDAY. And I just don't know.

We ACT like we're together. We hold each other like we're together. And we always know just what to say when the other is down…

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Hey!" I hear Jesse's muffled voice through the door. "Beca, you in there? You said today was gonna be 'Epic Movie Day'!" He whined playfully.

Beca begins to mumble as she lifts her head. With a mock pout, she lets her head fall back to the pillow.

He begins to knock again.

"Come on. I KNOW you're in there. It's not even noon yet. Wake up, Becky!"

As much as I hate the guy, even I have to admit he's cute sometimes.

With a scoff, Kimmy Jin shuffles over to the door to let Jesse in. I guess she got tired of him knocking.

As I lift my head and roll off of Beca, I hear Jesse start with hurt and a tinge of bitterness in his voice. "Well, I see now why you couldn't make it to the door…"

His jaw tightens as I meet his gaze. There is an awkward silence as I celebrate internally the fact that looks can't kill. Because, if they could, that one would have surely sent me under.

Beca sits up and wipes her eyes, ignoring Jesse's comment.

"I'll be ready in a few. Make yourself at home." She says with a smirk as Jesse plops down into her desk chair.

_As if she had to tell him._

I figure I should give them some privacy so I hop up from the bed and slip my shoes on before leaning down to kiss Beca on the cheek.

"Aubrey should be a little easier to approach, now. I'm gonna go shower and cram some more before the finals."

"Alright," Beca calls as I start towards the door. "You know how to reach me if you need me."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

POV- Beca

I check my watch again, tapping my foot impatiently. Fat Amy was supposed to meet me at the library half an hour ago. Just as I stand and start to gather my things on the desk, I see her. I sit back down with a grin.

"Whoa, nelly! You about to stand me up?" She calls out as she struggles to make it across the room with her books and bags. This warrants shushes and nasty looks from the whole library.

"I could ask you the same thing," I tease, responding at a lower volume, "You moving in, or what?"

Fat Amy drops her bags and takes a seat across from me. "Oh, THESE?" She asks in mock nonchalance. "These are…er…well, these are overdue," She points to one bag. "And these are for pleasure," She points to the other bag with a wink. "And these here on the desk are obviously textbooks."

_WTF, Fat Amy?_

She continues with a reassuring nod, "I like to be prepared."

"WELL then…" I turn my attention back to my notebook, flipping through it until I find notes from Philosphy 101. "Wanna start from the beginning? Or do you already know that stuff about arguments and premises?"

"Nah, we can skip it." Fat Amy isn't particularly modest, so I should've known better than to ask her that.

"What about this?" I ask, turning my notebook around for her as I come across the many different fallacies.

She begins to copy my notes into her pad and I realize that I have my work cut out for me. I scan the room, observing the bland décor of the library as I wait.

Then, I feel my phone vibrate in my coat pocket. I pull it out to see the display. It's Chloe.

_CHLOE:_ _Hot date in a quiet place, huh? You sure know how to treat a lady =P_

Chloe wanted to hang out tonight, but I told her I promised to help Fat Amy study for the final. And it's just a lot easier to spend the night without her or Jesse. I'm confused about the whole situation, to be honest. Sometimes, I'm not sure if it's just our witty banter or if she's actually flirting with me.

Or if I'M flirting back…

I type a response:

_BECA: You jealous? ;P_

With that, I lock my phone and shove it back into my pocket. I must have some sort of smile on my face, because I look up and find Fat Amy watching me with her knowing grin.

"Can't Jesse wait?"

"Uh…" I correct her, "That was actually Chloe."

"Hmmm…" Fat Amy cocks her head and watches me. Reading my face. But deciding not to question any further.

"Finished with that?" I ask. Hoping to divert our attention back to Philosophy.

"Not yet," Fat Amy continues to copy notes as my phone vibrates again.

I pull it out to read the message.

_CHLOE: Maybe a little ;] When are we gonna hang out again? _

I feel my cheeks burning at the thought of hanging out with Chloe again. We always have so much fun together.

_BECA: Well… I have to work all week, but I get the weekend off. What're you doing this weekend? _

I shove my phone back into my pocket and look up to find Fat Amy giving me "that look" again.

_What's that look all about?_

She starts, with a grin, "You DO know about Chloe, right? You'd have to be the only one who doesn't…"

"What are you talking about?" I ask, lost. Apparently, I've been left out of some sort of loop.

"I just figured you knew. From the way you're grinning... Your face is redder than a hot-dog, by the way."

Instinctively, my hand raises to my cheek.

My phone goes off again. I pull it out to read Chloe's response.

_CHLOE: Having a date with you, I hope =] We'll figure it out later. Have fun studying!_

I shove my phone back into my pocket one last time before looking up at Fat Amy. She raises her eyebrows knowingly and slides my notebook across the table to me.

_Am I missing something here?_


	4. Chapter 4

POV- Jesse

I stand outside the door to the lecture hall as Beca's class comes to close. She walks out and takes my hand as we start our walk to the radio station.

I love the way her hand feels in mine. It's so small, but feels so strong at the same time. She has the hands of a worker. And I admire that about her.

I love that Beca's a little rough around the edges. That she'd rather wear sneakers. That she doesn't wear makeup…other than the eyeliner.

I squeeze her hand gently and smile as we start our walk.

"So how was class?" I ask. I always ask her about her day when I see her.

She gives her usual shrug, before flashing a crooked smile my way.

"How were yours?" She asks, after a moment. Unlike myself, Beca doesn't really care how classes are going. I do appreciate the fact that she asks though. Even if it's just out of courtesy…

Our shift at the station goes by pretty quickly. Beca's got her own show now. And I don't see much of Luke. He just sort of "supervises" while I stack records and Beca does her thing.

Occasionally, I peek into the booth to watch her. She's so cute when she's mixing… I will say she gets a lot of texts while she's working. And from the red of her cheeks, they aren't from a relative.

At the conclusion of her show, Beca emerges from the booth with cell phone in hand,

_Who the heck is texting her so much?_

"Fans texting you ALREADY?" I tease.

She doesn't look away from the phone until she's finished typing her response. "Nah, just Chloe."

_Chloe? _

For some reason, that bothers me more than it should. I think of how cozy those two were the other day.

I continue, trying my best to sound casual. "So what'd she have to say?"

"Ehh, not much," She shrugs. "She was just saying she thought the show went well. She listens sometimes…"

_I REALLY don't like this…_

_This "friendship" they have._

I guess I don't do a good job of controlling my facial expression, because Beca studies my face for a while before taking my hand and starting towards the door.

_She's holding my hand…. See? We're gonna be fine. _

_Nothing to worry about… right?_


	5. Chapter 5

HAD TO GO BACK AND EDIT THIS CHAPTER SO THESE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS MAKE SENSE. I APOLOGIZE IF THIS THROWS ANYBODY OFF...

**CHAPTER 5**

POV- Chloe

I emerge from the closet with two shirts.

_Well at least I've narrowed it down…_

"What're YOU getting all dolled up for?" Aubrey asks as she looks up from her textbook for the first time in the past hour. She's been on her bed hunched over that book cramming ALL DAY.

"I'm meeting Beca-"

Aubrey scoffs loudly, cutting me off.

"Come on, Aubrey…not tonight, okay?" It's more of a warning than a question. I turn my attention back to the shirts...

"Sorry," She starts, "I just worry…" I don't have to look back to know she's sporting an infamous "Aubrey Posen" pout.

"I know…" I say. And, it doesn't come out snarkily or anything. I want her to know how much I really do appreciate our friendship.

Even if she IS a little over-protective at times…

After a while, Aubrey exhales. With a more tender tone, she speaks… "Aqua Polo."

I turn to meet her gaze.

_Is she actually helping me right now?_

She must see the suspicion in my face because she elaborates," It brings out your eyes and looks better with your complexion."

"Oh…" I take turns holding the shirts to my chest, comparing them once more. What do you know? Aubrey knows what she's talking about. "Thank you…"

I take a deep breath and raise my fist to knock on Beca's door.

Beca opens the door and greets me with that crooked smile I know and love. I've come to love that smile. I feel like it is the smile she smiles just for me… Shy, Alluring, Slightly vulnerable…

When our eyes meet, for a second, JUST a second there is a light in her eyes. She clears her throat and steps aside, allowing me to come in.

"Soooo… what would you like to do tonight?" She asks as she closes the door behind me.

I make my way to the bed. Taking no time to kick my shoes off and plop down. Beca smiles, as she watches me . Beca's always found it amusing that I make myself at home every time I visit.

It's surprisingly easy, this time once I notice Kimmy Jin isn't here. But then again, she never is lately.

I smile up at Beca, patting the spot next to me. Inviting her to join me. "I was hoping we could just hang like we always do," I answer. Of course, that's only partially true. I can think of plenty of things that I would LOVE to do with/to Beca tonight. None of them being G-Rated, I'll just say.

She makes her way across the room, plopping down beside me. We sit upright, putting our backs to the pillows against the wall. Before long, I realize my head is on her shoulder and my hand rests on her forearm.

We spend nearly 2 hours laughing at videos we stumble across in the "weird part of youtube".

Finally, she shuts off her Macbook and sets it aside, careful not to disturb me as she's moving. As awkward as she looks, the thought still makes me smile.

There is an awkward silence as I get lost in my thoughts.

_SAY SOMETHING! _

"Hey…Beca. Can I ask you something?" I raise my head, turning to look at her.

Her face goes serious, as she shifts into 'deadpan joke mode', "But, Chloe… You just did."

I roll my eyes, deciding to play along. "Well, may I ask you something after I ask you something?"

"Sure." Her lips pull into a thin frown and her brows furrow as she pretends to be confused, " Why didn't you just ask?"

I shake my head, smiling. She knows she's working on my nerves, but she also knows it is nearly impossible for me to get mad at her.

The corners of her mouth twitch as she fights to keep a straight face.

"Can you stop being cute for, like, FIVE SECONDS?" I ask, feigning irritation.

"Five seconds is a long time…" She counters, letting the smirk overtake her features.

I swear I've never found smirks to be attractive until I met Beca Mitchell.

As I feel the heat in my cheeks, I scan the dorm for a distraction. Once, the the color finally leaves my cheeks, I look back to see Beca rolling her lips under, in an attempt to hide the smile spreading across her face. And I don't mean one of her lazy smiles, but a genuine smile. Dimples and all. The kind of smile I see when it's just the two of us…

I start again, answering her, "Hey. Beca... I really do have to ask you something, though. Like for real."

"Oh. Okay." She composes herself and turns to face me again, giving me her undivided attention.

"Would you ever date a woman?" I spit out, immediately regretting it once I see her expression. The last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable.

Her brows furrow as she takes a moment to deliberate. Possibly wondering what would lead me to ask such a random question. "Uh… yeah. I mean, I've dated a few in high school. Nothing serious though..." She trails off, shrugging at the last bit.

_Well, that's great. _

"Why not?" I ask, trying my best to sound like nothing more than a wondering friend…

There is an uncomfortable silence as she chooses her words carefully.

"Well…," She explains,matter-of-factly," In my experiences, they tell you they love you... then they leave."

_Wow…_

She goes on. Pain and bitterness embedded in her voice,"…And as soon as you start to forget. And you think you're okay again…they show up. And they do it again…"

Beca's eyes begin to shine with tears she won't let fall. She looks everywhere, but my face. And when she finally does look at my face, she looks everywhere but my eyes… "It's whatever though." She adds, in an attempt to cover up the fact that she's actually hurting.

"Beca…" I speak, WILLING her to look at me, so she'll see the sincerity in my eyes," I don't know who did that to you, or why…. But, I can PROMISE you every woman isn't like that."

Finally, her blue eyes meet mine again. And for the first time since I've met her, they are genuine. So loving. So vulnerable. So full of hope…

Looking past the thick black eyeliner… the harsh exterior… I see a pair of soft blue eyes. Soft blue eyes that hope for her future to be better than her past and present. (Of course, I'd never call Beca out on any of this, because she is a self-proclaimed "badass" with a rep to uphold)

I stare into those soft blue eyes. Seeing her for the first time. The REAL Beca.

I see her face in a whole new light now. Her whole face seems so much softer… Her nose…her cheeks…her lips…

_Get it together! You're staring at her lips. Baby steps Chloe…_

_I REALLY wanna kiss her right now_…

My gaze leaves her lips. Locking with hers.

"I know YOU aren't…" She smiles.

As I stare into her eyes, an overwhelming feeling of warmth and electricity spreads through my chest. The butterflies come shortly after.

_I wonder if she feels it too. It's pretty intense…_

"Wow…" Beca looks away, laughing nervously. "We, uh…we should call it a night. You're welcome to stay, if you want. Kimmy Jin's not coming back anytime soon.

We cut off the lights and lay down, but neither of us is able to fall asleep for a while. As always, we end up holding each other through the night. But tonight feels different. Beca faces me tonight. Holding me close to her tiny body. Humming my "lady jam" when she notices I'm having trouble getting to sleep.

Suprisingly, it works.


	6. Chapter 6

POV- Aubrey

It isn't until early the next day when Chloe makes it back to the room. With the cutest look on her face. She's so lovestruck… It's sad.

And, I hate being the one to remind her that Beca has a boyfriend, but sometimes I have to.

Like, when she tells me about something sweet that Beca said. Or about them spooning. Or about some "moment" they shared…

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to see my friend this happy again. It's been years since she's shown romantic interest in anyone.

But, Beca has a boyfriend. A very attractive boyfriend that ADORES her. She's not going to give that up, even if she wants to… Beca can be cold, but I can't see her being THAT heartless. I just don't want Chloe to get her hopes up and get hurt again…

Since Kindergarten, Chloe has always had this thing for "bad boys". It's like she has an obsession with them. I'm not sure if it's just the thrill of wanting to "fix them" or if she sees a little of herself in them. Maybe she's just read too many fairytales and watched too many Disney movies. She wants to be the one to show them the light in the world and help them realize their "true potential". Which is really great and I admire her for it. However, I'm afraid a frog is just a frog sometimes…

"How'd it go?" I do nothing to hide the amusement in my voice. Chloe shuts the door and makes her way across the room to her bed.

"It was nice," Chloe says, as she tries (and fails) to hold back the smile spreading across her face. She slips her shoes off as she lays back on the bed. Kicking her feet up, locking her hands behind her head as she stares dreamily at the ceiling.

"The way you're acting… you'd think you two had sex or something" I tease, but it just comes out a little harsher than I wanted.

"No!" Chloe snaps up in protest, "It's not like that with Beca. It's about more than just wanting to jump her bones, Aubrey."

I chuckle a little as I think back to all of Chloe's toners over the past year. Especially the one on the night of the ICCA's…

"Why are you so interested, all of a sudden?" She asks, suspiscion evident in her voice.

"I just haven't seen you this happy in a while…" I answer, honestly.

We say nothing else for a while. Chloe being lost in her own thoughts of Beca and whatever they did last night, and me pretending to study as I wonder what happened.

Shutting my textbook and setting it aside. I give Chloe my undivided attention. "Soo… What happened?"

Chloe snaps out of her thoughts as she realizes I'm talking to her. She rolls onto her side, to face me.

"Well…" She pauses as she searches for the right words to explain. "It's more of what almost happened."

_What?_

"…what do you mean?"

She tells me about the date. Everything from the butterflies, to their cuddling (in "newlywed" position, might I add), to her swooning over the fact that Beca opened up to her a little more. And coming THIS close to kissing her.

I REALLY want to get excited for Chloe…

…but I can just tell this isn't going to end well.


	7. Chapter 7

POV- Beca

Meanwhile…

After walking almost the entire campus in search of the perfect picnic spot, we come across a shady area under a large pine tree and stop as if we're thinking the same thing. Jesse whips out his blanket and sets it down, carefully. Lining it up just right before pulling out his laptop. He squats to set his laptop down on the blanket, shrugging his shoulders to let his back pack fall before dropping down onto the blanket eagerly. He smiles up at me and pats the spot next to him, obviously wanting me to snuggle in and watch another chick flick.

I can't say no to that smile. I mean, it's not even like I'm head over heels for the guy, but I obviously can't get rid of him and he can be… somewhat endearing… at times. I curl my lip as if I'm genuinely disgusted. His hand goes to his chest and he pulls the most dramatic "boohoo" face I've ever seen. Then I take my spot next to him.

This is what we do. It's safe…

There are no intense feelings involved. No bitching or moaning. No pressure. Just our playful, yet noticeably platonic, banter.

We crack jokes about the dumbest things and play fight while couples around us are either arguing or making out in the over fertilized lawns of Barden University.

But, seriously...Who's got time for all that?

We sit in silence as we watch She's All That. Well,…Jesse watches it. I stop paying attention halfway through. I find myself thinking back to our first day at the station when he practically described the main character of this movie.

(And just about every other teen movie…)

Once the movie is over, as always, Jesse feels his philosophical fire has been rekindled. He starts a lightning round of random thoughts. It's the only thing I look forward to when watching movies with him.

"You know what I think when I look at how green the grass is here?" He asks, as he gathers his things and crams them into his backbag.

"How long it took to spread all that shit?" I crack, deadpanned.

His expression is similar to that of a wounded puppy. I smile lovingly to lighten the mood as he throws his bag over his shoulder and we start towards the dorms.

"Thanks for ruining that moment…" he rolls his eyes, playfully before continuing,"I was gonna say that I think about all the hard work that went into it. Ya know?" He looks down at me as if he really wants me to answer, but I know this face. He's on a roll and it's best to just let him finish. The corner of my mouth raises instinctively into a smirk as he starts again.

"Like…how long it took. And…what it looked like before. And, ya know…even if they DID cover it in shit… Look at it NOW…"

At this point, I stop listening. Only offering nods and other nonverbal responds when necessary.

My mind wanders to everything. From exams… to mixes I'm working on… to Chloe. I think about last night, when she came over. How I almost slipped and told her about my parents' divorce. About my mom joining the Marines and eventually eloping with some Lieutenant… How I almost let my guard down… How I cut the light off and almost turned my back to her so she could hold me, for once…

I just don't understand our friendship sometimes. But I mean I've never really had a close female friend.

_They're ALL touchy, right?_

And they giggle…like non-stop. And they blush. And cuddle.

_Right?_

And it doesn't bother me when Chloe does it because she's a girl. And she doesn't wanna make me carry her babies or anything like that.

_Or does it not bother me simply because it's Chloe?_

By the time we reach my dorm, Jesse's already gone through 5 philosophical metaphors. At the door, he takes my hands and smiles down at me, obviously waiting for something. I raise my eyebrows awkwardly, as I try to stall. It's not that I don't wanna kiss him.

_Or wait, do I?_

Chloe had that same look on her face last night. There was a lot more there though. Her eyes were so intense but so soft at the same time. It felt like she was looking through me. It made me feel so weak. But even though I felt so weak and defenseless under her gaze, I felt surprisingly safe.

_Was she wanting me to kiss her? Or was that just her way of showing sympathy?_

I don't know. It made my chest feel all warm and tingly.

_Maybe it was just indigestion?_ _I mean…we DID order Pizza…_

"Beca, are you alright?" Jesse asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. I can hear irritation in his voice. I wonder how long it took him to notice I wasn't listening…

"I'm wonderful, actually" I lift up on my toes and kiss Jesse's cheek before exchanging goodbyes. I turn to unlock the door and see an invitation taped to the wood. I snatch it off, unlocking the door with my other hand as I read it:

SURPRISE GRADUATION PARTY 

WHERE: AUDITORIUM

WHEN: NEXT FRIDAY 8PM

FOR: AUBREY

_Wait…WHAT? Why aren't we throwing a party for Aubrey and Chloe at the same time?_

I close the door behind me, reading over the invitation again to make sure I didn't misread something.

Nope.

I read it right the first time.

_That's strange…_


	8. Chapter 8

POV- Chloe

So, I overheard the girls talking about the party they're throwing for Aubrey and jumped, literally JUMPED to help. At first they were worried because they were planning to throw the party for both of us, but I explained to them that I'm going to be around for a while.

I picked up a double major at the beginning of the semester so I can graduate with a B.A in Dance Performance and Music Performance. The Bellas were excited to hear the news. Beca, as usual, was nowhere to be found.

_I'll have to remember to tell her…_

OR

_I can just keep it a surprise until next semester!_

But, I'll worry about that later. Right now, we're all setting up for the party. I shot Beca a text earlier and even SHE decided she'd come pay her respects. It's a good thing. If she and Aubrey would take the time to get to know each other, they'd be surprised how much they have in common…

As I'm throwing Christmas lights over random objects, (I know, it's kinda pathetic but, it's better than nothing) Beca walks up behind me with an amused grin.

"Hey, there," She taps me from behind me, "Need any help spreading the bling?"

"No, thank you." I smile back at her briefly, before turning back to work. Adding "I'll call you if I need help getting to those high spots, 'Big Dip'" Occasionally, I'll tease her about being so tiny, and INSISTING to be the big spoon when we cuddle.

That always gets her. Her lips roll under and she looks away before facing me again.

_It's SO cute when she does that. Like, I can't tell she's blushing._

She cocks her head to the side, in that endearing way of hers, "Ohh? I see you got jokes." The look on her face is something between "sizing-me-up" and admiration. I have to admit it kind of gets my wheels turning.

"SHORT jokes." I correct her, with a wink.

She rolls her eyes and starts towards the bleachers, sighing dramatically as she takes a seat. "You're lucky you're cute, Chloe. I wouldn't put up with you otherwise"

I ignore all the knowing smirks and raised eyebrows directed our way from the other Bellas, because I really don't care who knows how I feel about Beca. Except Beca.

_I wish she would just open her eyes._

"Alright, guys!," I call out, getting the Bellas' attention, "I should be back in ten minutes. I'm gonna walk on over to the dorm and grab Aubrey."

And with that, I turn towards the double doors and leave the auditorium. Smiling at the sound of the girls scattering to find places to hide.

BACK AT THE DORM-

"Nope! Nuh uhn" Aubrey shakes her head firmly. "I am NOT putting that thing on my head." She looks at the pillowcase again with a look of disgust.

"But, Bree-" I whine.

"Do you realize how many Bellas have had their nasty little faces shoved into that?" She argues.

"Fine, then… I guess we're gonna do this the hard way." I grin, approaching her slowly until she falls back onto her bed. Over the course of a brutal tickle fight, I manage to get Aubrey's wrists tied together with her Bella scarf and I throw the pillowcase over her head.

Smiling triumphantly, I help her stand and lead her to the auditorium, making sure to walk slowly and let the doors to the auditorium slam loudly behind us, Making sure each of our footsteps echo throughout the auditorium, so the girls know.

As we come up beside the piano, the girls peek out from their many hiding spots and with a heavenly blend of pitches they sing "SURPRISE!" Aubrey jumps back, startled, as I yank the pillowcase off her head and remove the scarf.

She turns to me and, for a second, her face is unreadable. Then she pokes her lip out, affectionately, pulling me into a back-cracking hug. "You girls are the best." She says, squeezing me impossibly tighter. Unaware of her strength. And my discomfort.

Cynthia-Rose and Stacie bring out the drinks (one of which is already half-empty), Fat Amy and Lilly bring out the pizza and snacks, and Beca brings out her laptop (hooking it up to the sound system impressively fast.)

The rest of the girls join Aubrey and take their seats on the blanket in the middle of the floor. Crossing their legs like children.


	9. Chapter 9

POV- Beca

_So far, so good…_

Nobody's fighting. Aubrey hasn't puked yet. And there are no trebles around to spoil her mood.

_I certainly set my standards high for parties, don't I? _

I set my itunes on shuffle and let it play out as I watch the girls dance, drink, and sing along. I take a seat in the bleachers and watch the girls, amused. Chloe approaches with two red cups, offering one to me. I shake my head and watch her shrug as if to say "_More for me._". I smile up at her as she plops down in the seat beside me.

"Why're you all the way over here? You should come dance with us." She offers.

"I don't know. I've never really been one to dance at parties. I'd rather sit here and creep." I wink, playfully.

"I see." She smiles, mischievously, setting her cups down and taking my hand as she stands. "Will you dance with me? Just this once?" She begs, working the puppy eyes and poutylip for effect.

I sigh, defeated. "Just this once, right?"

"Uh huhn!" She smiles, adorably. Pulling me up from my seat and leading me out onto the floor with the rest of the Bellas. She and Aubrey exchange a wink, then Aubrey nods at me as if she knows something I don't.

Chloe lets go of my hands as she rushes off to my laptop, skimming and scanning my playlist until she finds the song she's looking for. The auditorium is filled with the first few bars of "No Diggity" and I find myself cracking up as Chloe makes her way back over to me with a pimp walk. She puts on this cute "thug face" as she raps along with Dr. Dre, waving her hands with every word. By the chorus, everybody has joined in (even Aubrey, as the rest of the Bellas made it their DUTY to educate her after the Riff-off).

Something about the way Chloe looks at me as she sings the chorus drives me a little insane. The darkness in her eyes as she looks over my body. The swaying of her hips. The way she bites her lips and runs her hands through her hair, occasionally.

"I like the way you work it… No DIGGITY!" She winks, before turning around.

And now, she's on me…

Chloe dances up against me with a frustrating amount of friction. Her hips brushing my crotch with every move.

"Ummm…" I manage.

"Uh huhn?" Chloe answers, seductively. Reaching back to take my hands as she shimmies down the front of my body and back up. I can't take my eyes off her hips.

I mean… I knew she could dance, but DAMN.

_That ass…_

I just…. I can't even think right now.

Before long, the song is over, and I'm having to ignore the warm throbbing sensation between my legs.

_I should not be having these thoughts about Chloe. She's my friend. My BEST FRIEND… And she's graduating in less than two weeks… _

The next song to come on is "Sorry For Party Rocking" by LMFAO. I slip away from Chloe under the guise of being parched. As I'm leaning against the drink table, Cynthia-Rose and Stacie appear, flirting in that cat and mouse way they do.

I take a breath and lean against the table, in an effort to calm myself.

As Stacie refills both of their cups, I reach for a diet coke and pop it open. Chugging it down like water.

"Dayum…" Cynthia-Rose teases, "I guess I can see why you're so thirsty." She elbows me as Stacie rolls her eyes.

_These two are so together… _

"I thought Chlo was gonna BREAK you, B. With the way she was rolling and grinding all over you…"

_I think she did…_

Stacie nods in agreement. "Yeah… I'm surprised you two haven't fucked yet."

"STACIE!" Cynthia slaps Stacie on the arm, before pulling her away with her free hand. She nods an apologetic farewell to me.

Luckily, I manage to stay surrounded for the rest of the party, so Chloe doesn't ask me to dance again. Instead, we spend the rest of the party sharing stories about Aubrey and reminiscing on the past year. Aubrey seems refreshingly calm and fun and I find myself wishing I'd given her a chance earlier. She even hugs me and gives me her number before heading out.

"I know it seems like we JUST got to know each other, but I'm here for you… Even if you are a little pain-in-the-ass, alt girl." She says, with a playful grin.

The rest of us stay to clean up the auditorium. All the red cups scattered across the floor…all the chip crumps and soda cans in the bleachers… all the "decorations".

As I'm sweeping the bleachers, I hear someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around my waist. It doesn't take long before I realize it's Chloe. I try to keep moving, forcing her to follow and tighten her embrace. She pulls my back to her chest, tenderly, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"Wanna walk me home once we finish up?" She asks, a little too huskily.

"Uh…sure," My heart begins to pound in my chest as she loosens her hold and lets her hands fall down my waist, following the curve of my hip.

"Mmkay," She pulls back and walks off to see if any of the others need help.

My eyes land on Fat Amy, a few rows up. She watches me as she finishes off the leftover pizza with an expression similar to the one she had in the library last week. I'm pretty sure she saw what just happened.

But, it's not like it means anything… I mean, Chloe does that stuff all the time.

_Maybe it's all in my mind? Wishful thinking? _

_Nah… _

I shake my head clear of my thoughts and finish sweeping up the trash.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**WARNING! - IF YOU AREN'T INTO VAGUE SMUT, COLLECT $200 DOLLARS AND SKIP TO CHAPTER 11. **

**Just know that Beca and Chloe had sexy-time and it was "magical", or whatever. Unlike any other sex Beca's ever had. And she's passing it off as poor judgment fueled by lust and curiousity. And things are becoming more complicated as the semester comes to a close.**

POV- Beca

On the walk back to Chloe and Aubrey's dorm, we don't say much. We just listen to the ambient sounds of thumping stereo systems and students laughing and shouting obnoxiously.

_It IS Friday, after all…_

Chloe stays close, letting her hand brush mine occasionally. Sending a tingly sensation from my fingertips, through my arm into my chest. Typically, I cross my arms after her hand brushes mine the first time, but tonight….for some reason, I just can't seem to pull my hand away. I've never actually given myself the chance to feel her hands. To take in how soft and warm they are…

My thoughts become increasingly more inappropriate with that observation…

_Beca…what the hell? Get it together!_

As we reach Chloe's dorm, I watch her unlock the door before turning to head back towards mine. But she grabs my wrist, stopping me. "Don't you wanna stay for a bit? We've only got….like…a WEEK before the semester's over. Let's have a sleepover." She leans against the doorframe, smiling adorably.

_It's not like I've got anything better to do…_

I shrug, stepping into the dorm and scanning the décor. It's clear which side is Aubrey's and which side is Chloe's. Aubrey's side is mostly yellow and navy themed with awards and motivational music posters. Chloe's side is teal and pink. With music and dance posters. I take note of her analog treble-clef shaped clock on the wall.

She closes the door behind her and starts towards her closet.

I set my laptop on her desk, before kicking my shoes off and laying back on her bed, watching her. I'm not sure if she realizes I'm watching or not, but she grabs the bottom of her blouse and pulls it up in one swift motion, arching her back a little as she pulls it over her head.

From this angle, I can clearly see the defined ripples of her abs and the swell of her hips. She unbuttons her jeans and begins to shimmy out of them. I look away to distract myself and find myself staring at a picture of a man kneeling in his Marine camo beside what appears to be a young Aubrey and Chloe.

_Wow… no wonder they're so close. They've gotta be like 4 in this picture._

I get lost in the picture. Wondering what their childhood was like. What their families were like… only slightly jealous, but happy they seem so happy in the picture.

Something soft hits my face, bringing me out of my thoughts. I look down to see a t-shirt and a pair of running shorts sliding down onto my chest.

"Who's getting comfortable, NOW?" She teases, flopping down beside me.

I change on her bed. Too lazy to do more than sit up and arch my back to undress and dress again. When I finish, I roll my jeans and button up into a ball and throw them towards her closet. I turn back to Chloe and notice she's watching me, with such adoration in her eyes.

It's the look she had the other night. That look that made me feel all warm and tingly and weak and breathless at the same time… I don't know what all these feelings mean, but I really like it.

"Where's Aubrey?" I ask, hoping to break the tension and lighten the mood.

"I think some of the girls took her out to a club… She texted me saying not to expect her until early tomorrow." Chloe answers, amused.

"Ahhh…" I manage. I swallow, realizing how dry my throat has gotten.

"You seem really tense, Bec…"

I look everywhere but her face. I don't know why I agreed to stay the night. I can't even look at her without having inappropriate thoughts. Especially with the way she was dancing on me

_So, she's attractive? So, what? _

_When girls are attractive, you fuck them. No explanation or justification needed._

_Just lust._

_But_, _this_ _is_ _CHLOE_… Not just some guy or some chick you met at a party.

"Hey…" She says softly, propping up on her elbow so she can see my face better. "D- Do you wanna talk? You're worrying me…"

_I'M worrying me…_

When I don't answer, I feel her hand cupping my cheek, turning my head so she can look into my eyes.

I feel myself getting weaker as I stare back into her eyes. Reading the concern in the furrow of her brow and the cute little frown of her lips…

I've never had someone look at me the way she does. Not even Jesse. Or people I dated in high school. It just…makes me… FEEL THINGS.

Her eyes soften and she cocks her head as she studies my face, intrigued, "What?" She asks. She almost appears to be blushing.

"What?" I ask dumbly.

My eyes skim over her face, taking in all her features. The pinkish tint of her skin… The long curl of her eyelashes… the soft outline of her jaw… the softness in her eyes as she watches me… the fullness of her lips.

_Her lips look REALLY soft…_

"It's just… you have this… 'look"'. She explains, blushing even more furiously now.

_Do I? What KIND of look?_

My gaze flicks up at her eyes curiously before falling back to her lips.

Somehow, the distance between us closes until my lips meet hers. The feeling is better than any feeling I've ever experienced. It's like New Years and the 4th of July inside of me, all at the same time. I smile against her lips and feel delighted when she smiles back.

_Surely, this is just curiousity, right?_

_I'm just…curious how soft her lips are._

They're soft and sweet. Like I imagined. And our lips fit together perfectly... Unlike anything I could've imagined. The kiss is soft and slow. Gentle, yet aggressive with want at the same time. She takes my lip between her teeth, biting it softly.

_What am I DOING?_

My hands move as if they have a mind of their own. Running up and down her sides and down her arms…

Then, suddenly, I am on top of her. Straddling her hips. Pulling away to lift my shirt over my head and then leaning down to shower her with more kisses.

I kiss her lips one last time before trailing kisses along her jawline, stopping once I find a soft spot just below her ear.

"God… Beca…" Chloe moans breathily, "Are you sur-"

My lips are on hers again, silencing her. Then, I no longer feel her hesitation. Her hands pull at my back. As if we can never be close enough. Her fingers are warm against my skin. Kneading the small muscles in my shoulders and working lower until her hands are on my waist. We continue like this for a while until Chloe flips me onto my back.

For just a moment, she pauses to admire me. Her eyes are dark with desire and want. But there's more there. A twinkle of some sort. A softness…

_This is definitely something I'm not used to…_

I tense up, watching her. Waiting to see what she'll do next. I'm not used to being on the bottom. It just seems so…submissive. Totally, not my style.

She cradles my head with one hand and slowly begins to kiss her way down my body, leaving a trail of goosebumps where her lips pull away. Her free hand moves tenderly over the rest of my body before finding its way to my crotch. Chloe kisses her way back up my torso, up the valley of my breasts to my neck. Sucking lightly as she begins to rub me through the silky fabric of her shorts.

I'd like to say we're having rough, aggressive sex or that we're "fucking", but this is unlike any other time I've had sex. We are so tender and affectionate with our touches and kisses. It takes forever before our clothes come off because we just enjoy kissing and touching each other. Of course, we're not quiet. Everyone on this hall, possibly the whole DORM, can hear the bed rocking and I'm pretty sure they know our names now.

And we haven't even started yet…

My hands travel over Chloe's obliques as she begins to rock her hips against mine. Our warm centers meeting in an amazing electric-like sensation. With her free hand, she appreciates my breast, exciting me just enough before dragging her hand down my belly to my center. Teasing the bud. Using my moisture to aid her.

I bite my lip to keep my composure. Letting my eyes close as I focus on the feeling of her skin against mine.

"So…beautiful…" She lets out between pants, as neither of us is breathing normally at this point. Once she feels she has teased me enough, she is inside of me, skillfully moving her hand in sync with the rocking of our hips. She continues to pepper kisses along my neck and collar until she feels how close I'm getting. A moan escapes my lips as her hand and grinding gradually speed up.

I become aware of everything. The feeling of her abs against my stomach as she works over me (which is enough to drive me crazy on its own)… the way her strong back feels under my fingertips, extending and flexing with each thrust… the way she stares into my eyes as I near my release…

Yes, this was definitely different from any other time I've gotten "laid". No one has ever been as gentle or as affectionate as Chloe. No one has ever cared enough to hold me or touch me the way Chloe does…

It's usually really quick. Sometimes, clothes don't even come all the way off… Just enough to get the job done.

And once it's done, we always leave. Sleeping in our own beds… possibly never speaking to each other again…

But Chloe is different. We keep going until we're absolutely exhausted. Our bodies collapsing against the mattress as we struggle to catch our breath through lazy smiles…

Chloe pulls me close, peppering my lips with sweet kisses as she strokes my cheek with her thumb.

_God, she is so beautiful…_

She continues to stroke my cheek, watching me drowsily with her light eyes. I find myself watching her fall asleep and thinking how I could get used to this.

_But she's leaving in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS, Beca!_

Then, I think about Jesse…

_Shit! What did I just DO?_

_Surely this was just curiousity, right? _

_Just poor judgment fueled by lust and curiosity, right?_

My mind says yes, but my heart says otherwise.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

POV- Chloe

Last night was amazing…

Okay, it was downright magical.

Toe-curling, paint-peeling, bed-rocking "MAGICAL"

I feel like I can honestly say, for the first time in my life, that I "made love". That's what it felt like to me. And I did everything I could to see that it felt like that to Beca. I wanted her to just let me hold her and appreciate every bit of her.

She was reluctant at first but eventually, she did. And she returned the favor.

Hell, the only reason we even got that far was because of HER. SHE started it.

Her and those damn… "bedroom eyes". Not me…

So, why do I wake up alone? No tiny brunette in my arms… No soft blue eyes staring back at me… No crooked smile… Only an index card with one word scribbled on it. "Sorry."

No call. No text. Nothing…

This goes on for the next few week. I don't see or hear from Beca, outside of her radio show.

_It's like she's AVOIDING me…_

I shake my head, unwilling to even consider that. I need to see her. I need to talk to her. Maybe things will make more sense if we're in front of each other…

After I've completed my last final exam, I make my way over Beca's dorm, without warning.

_BANG! BANG! BANG! _I knock. Loud enough for Beca's neighbor's to hear.

No response.

_I know she's in there. Like, seriously…this is Beca we're talking about. She's probably sitting at her laptop making mixes when she could be out enjoying the weather or… you know STUDYING? Since it's finals week. But that's Beca._

I knock louder, determined. I can faintly hear the sound of typing and clicking through the door.

_Hmmm…._

I dial Beca's number and put my ear to the door. Listening and waiting. Sure enough, I hear her phone vibrating against the desk.

"Beca…?" I start with more cheer than I actually feel. "Open up. I just wanna talk."

"I… What's there to talk about?" She asks through the door. Her voice sounds shaky. Unsure. Unlike her usual soft voice, oozing with wit and confidence.

"Beca…"

_What's she mean?_

"Can I just come in? We only have, like… five days left in the semester. I just wanna know where we stand. "

"With what?" She asks dryly.

_SERIOUSLY, Beca?_

"Beca, I don't understand why you're acting like this."

I feel my patience running thinner, with each passing second I spend staring at Beca's door. I guess she can hear it in my voice because she opens the door, partially.

"Seriously, Chlo. There's nothing to talk about." She peeks out at me. "This is college."

"I'm well aware of where we are, Beca." I say through gritted teeth, trying my best to stay calm.

_But, what is that even supposed MEAN?_

"What we did was… a mistake. We're…" She swallows nervously, "We're young…and… curious…" Her voice trails off. Her eyes darting from side to side, avoiding mine.

_She's lying. Horribly, might I add._

"Can we have this conversation inside?" I ask, realizing that I'm still in the hallway and that there is much more to be said.

"We're not having a conversation. THIS isn't a conversation. THIS is me telling you that we did what all college students do and that it's no big deal. We…were just curious. Or at least, I was. "

"Bullshit, Beca!" I push my way through the door, with practically NO patience left.

She looks genuinely frightened for a second, (which I would've found to be adorable if I wasn't so irritated with her, at the moment)

I close the door behind me. Continuing,"I REFUSE to believe that what we did was some kind of…'experiment.'"

She says nothing. She only juts her jaw and crosses her arms defensively… (something I've noticed she does when she's scared or uncomfortable)

"And I know you don't really believe that either…" I add, taking a step towards her. She steps back shaking her head.

_What is she SO AFRAID of?_

"That's EXACTLY what I believe. That's what it was." She shrugs, still holding herself.

I feel my eyes sting as I take a moment to process what she said. I blink the tears away and force a smile. Although, I'm sure it just comes across as a grimace.

_There's no getting through to her when she's like this. And I didn't come here for an argument._

_I guess I should just leave…_

"Hey…" She calls out, stopping me as I turn to leave, "You know…this doesn't change anything, right?"

"Right." I nod, realizing my defeat.

But it has, whether Beca realizes it or not, everything is going to change.

I'm not buying her little "I was just curious" excuse. I SEE the way she looks at me… And I FELT the way she touched me that night… the way she held me…

But, I won't push her… maybe it's just all in my head and she really DOESN'T feel the way I do.

But, at least she's talking to me now. I guess that's better than nothing.

For now…


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

POV- Beca

I spend the next four months as a hermit. Curled up in bed, making mixes and scrolling through tumblr. Leaving the room only when it's absolutely necessary… like, to eat and bathe.

I just don't feel like talking to anybody. Not Jesse. Not Chloe. Not Dad or the stepmonster…

I don't want to think about Jesse. Even though he's done nothing wrong… Thinking about him just reminds me how much of a dick I've been to him without him even knowing. It reminds me how much I really don't deserve him.

And thinking about Chloe just makes me crazy. Too many thoughts… too many freaking feelings. And half of them, I can't even explain.

_This is why I don't like feelings…_

But of course, I have to confront them eventually. Summer break is over before I know it, and I'm moving into my dorm at Barden University. I made SURE to get a single occupant dorm this year. I don't want another situation like last year with Kimmy Jin.

After setting up my room (It doesn't take much. I practically live out of suitcases and duffel bags), I make my way over to the Activities Fair to see how Stacie and Fat Amy are doing.

As I approach the table, I see a familiar redhead laughing and smiling with the Bellas.

_Wait…is that Chloe? Didn't she graduate?_

Before I can turn and make a run for it, I hear Fat Amy over everyone else at the fair, "Hey, 'alt girl'! Hey! …You! …With the eyeliner!"

"I'm coming! Geez!" I rush over the table hoping to silence her before she draws too much attention. I must say, I've missed her. And Stacie. I've missed ALL the Bellas actually…

There is an awkward silence as Fat Amy and Stacie wait for me to greet Chloe. Or, vice versa. Clearly unaware of what happened between us last semester. I pretend to distract myself with the flyers on the table. Actually committing enough to open one and flip through it.

"Hey…" I finally hear Chloe say. Her voice soft and nervous, as if unsure what to say.

"Hey." I force a smile, hoping it doesn't come across as a grimace.

"Ooh, Did you tell Beca?" Stacie interjects, excitedly, "I know she wasn't around when you made the announcement."

_Announcement? _

Chloe's face lights up momentarily as she realizes what Stacie is talking about. "Oh, uh…I picked up a double major. I'll be here for another 2 years or so… Studying dance."

Well, that's great. As much as I didn't want to talk to her these past 4 months, I'm REALLY glad to know I'll still see her around.

I swallow nervously, trying (probably failing) to look cool and composed. Not wanting to show how excited I really am about this information. I spent most of last semester counting the days until graduation. DREADING it.

Not CONSCIOUSLY, of course. It was more of a "Damn, today's the 20th? Graduation while be here in no time!" Sort of deal.

'Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, relieved, but still somewhat upset to be left out of the loop.

"Well… I figured I'd surprise you," Her bright eyes meeting mine as she flashes a shy smile, "and we didn't really do a good job keeping in touch over the summer…"

_Well… Don't I feel like an ass. _

I smile back, hoping she can sense my apology.

I know it's my fault that we haven't talked. It's not like she didn't try. She called everyday over the summer. Hoping I'd eventually answer. Jesse called too. Even a few of the Bellas called over the break, but they all stopped after a while. The only person who stuck with it was Chloe. She even left a few voicemails. Nothing too overbearing, just something to say she cared and she hoped I was safe and having fun. (And the only reason I know this is because I found myself listening to them whenever I missed her…which happened way more than I like to admit.)

"We should catch up. " She suggests. Biting her lip nervously.

_Why does she have to be so cute? It makes it hard to say no sometimes…_

I smile at the thought."We should…," I agree, feeling my knees weaken a little when she smiles back.

"Well…," Chloe turns to face Stacie and Fat Amy again, "I'ma go check out the dance club."

The excitement in her eyes as she starts towards the dance table is maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen. I remember all the talks we've had about her love for dancing. It came up more and more once she found out about her nodes.

I find myself getting lost in thoughts of Chloe dancing. The way she smiles whenever she's dancing… the way she'd practically SKIP across my dorm in her sweats and sports bra whenever she came over to help me with my choreography…

"We should catch up" Fat Amy mocks. Batting her eyelashes at me exaggeratedly.

I roll my eyes and turn to leave as I feel my cheeks burn at their teasing. Leaving them to giggle at some inside joke.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

POV- Jesse

Over the summer, all I could think about was how much I missed Beca and Benji and all my friends, but now I'm not even sure how I feel. (At least, not when it comes to Beca). She practically disappeared for four months, ignoring my calls and texts and was nowhere to be found once the school year started back.

_I guess we're not a thing anymore…_

_I'm sure she's found someone else in that four months. Four months is a long time._

My eyes go blurry for a moment as tears try to make their way out. I blink them away and push on. Upset…heartbroken…a little bitter, but nothing extreme. It happens. I figure she decided to go out to LA, after all. That would explain why I haven't heard from her. The thought calms me a little. Makes it easier…

Until I spot her at the auditions. Sitting between Fat Amy and some redhead. It doesn't take long before I identify the redhead as Chloe. Recognizing that annoyingly polite voice even from the back of the auditorium.

_What the hell is SHE doing here? And why is she sitting with Beca? Did they talk over the break? Why didn't Beca tell me she was here? Why didn't she come to find me, when she got here? It's been almost a month since the semester started… _

I feel the familiar uneasiness in my gut at seeing those two together… they're just TOO cozy, sometimes…. Smiling and giggling together… And I don't like the way Chloe looks at Beca. Like she wants to rip Beca's Clothes off at any moment and take her away.

But what REALLY bothers me is the way Beca looks at Chloe… and the way she tries to deny it when everyone can see it.

I feel my face getting warmer, along with the rest of my body.

I clench my jaw and force a smile, grinding my teeth a little to shake the hostility I feel as Chloe stands and makes her way towards the stage. This is definitely a different look for her: hair pulled back in a messy bun, loose tanktop, sweatpants rolled up to her knees…

"Alright guys," She smiles excitedly, showing pearly teeth and big bright eyes. "I'm gonna go through 16 counts of choreography and I want you all to watch closely, because we're gonna ask you to come up and do this when I'm done."

Apparently, they added a dance requirement to the audition. So they could see what they're working with as far as having to teach steps to the newbies. Making it mandatory for them to learn 4-bars of some stupid routine Chloe came up with.

_Well, maybe it's not stupid… It's actually really well choreographed. It's just stupid because SHE made it. _

Once auditions are over and group members have been selected, we all head out to the ampitheatre for hood night. I wait for the perfect opportunity to pull Beca aside and talk to her.

"Why haven't you been returning my calls or answering my texts?" I ask, trying my best to stay patient with her.

"You've been calling?" She asks dumbly.

"Beca…" I warn." Don't EVEN…"

"Don't WHAT. Jesse?" She cocks her head and furrows her brow, playing dumb. Typically, when she does this, I think it's just the cutest thing and forgive her, but right now I'm seriously not in the mood.

I take a calming breath before continuing,"I just want to have a serious conversation with you. I don't understand why you just STOPPED talking to me."

Her gaze falls to the ground and I can sense the guilt oozing out of her, "To be honest… I didn't talk to ANYONE over the break…"

"What about when you got back to Barden? I feel like you didn't even TRY to talk to me. Why? I just want to understand…"

She says nothing. She only continues to study her scuffed leather boots and the ground around them

"Is there someone else? Did you meet someone?" I ask. Not 100% sure I want to hear the answer.

"No…"

"Then. What is it?"

She exhales. "I realized that I'd rather be your friend. I don't love you, Jesse. Not THAT way… I… just…don't… DO 'love'. I thought maybe I would, eventually… if I gave you a chance, but I just don't feel anything."

_Wow… _

"…and I do care about you. So, I can't keep stringing you along… I won't" She finishes, with a shrug.

I want to fall to my knees and beg. Tell her that I could someday show her what love is… Marry her and father her aca-children… Tell her that I won't give up…

But, Chloe comes sauntering over, hooking her arm through Beca's. Leaning on her, but keeping her eyes on me.

"Bec, the girls said to come get you. We're about to head over to Fat Amy's for some pre-season Bella Bonding," She smiles excitedly, her excitement rubbing off on Beca, who offers a lazy smile in return.

"Jesse… We'll finish this later." She smiles apologetically, as Chloe begins to drag her away. Leaving me alone to process what just happened.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

POV- Chloe

It's the first rehearsal of the semester and Beca and I find relief in seeing how quickly the girls catch on. After vocal warm-ups, we move rehearsal to the bleachers. I find myself smiling as Beca rolls the board (Probably twice as big as her) up beside me.

"So…" She nods, letting me start.

"Soooo," I start with enthusiasm. "What're some songs you all would like to sing?"

There is a moment of silence as the girls deliberate. Fat Amy is the first to speak, "We could sing something Jewish…?" She suggests with a shrug. Beca's eyes meet mine and I can tell we are equally confused. As are the rest of the girls.

_What is it with Fat Amy and Jews?_

Cynthia Rose is the next to speak, "We could sing something by Rihanna?"

Beca and I nod in agreement. She pulls the top on the dry erase marker, before turning to the board and starting the list of suggestions.

Rehearsal goes on like this for the next hour or so. We get suggestions for Bruno Mars (to which Beca responded with a smirk and an eye-roll directed my way, knowing how much I love his music), Daft Punk, Alicia Keys, Nirvana (Which makes Beca smile) and some 80's dance music.

From here, we decide to end rehearsal early. As the Bellas stand and gather their belongings to leave, Beca tells them to brainstorm so we can narrow down the list at tomorrow's rehearsal.

"Make good choices!" She yells as they reach the double doors.

Once the double doors slam shut for the final time, indicating that all the Bellas are gone, Beca turns to face me, with a questioning look. "Why the early let-out, Miss Beale?"

"I just have a lot going on. And they seem to be a sharp bunch…," I trail off once I notice the genuine concern in Beca's eyes.

"Anything I can help with?" She smiles sympathetically.

If only she knew… She's the reason for at least half of my stress. Especially when she leaves her button-ups open and wears those low cut tops, like she did today. It's really hard to be near her, when all I can think about is that night we hooked up.

All I can think about is her soft body arching under me or the way her hands felt running through my hair as we kissed…

About how I could get used to that…

"Chlo?" Beca calls, bringing me out of my thoughts.

Realizing I haven't answered her, I force a smile and shake my head reassuring her,"I'll be alright."

The next day…

As I'm walking out of my last class, I spot a little brunette DJ sitting on the lawn up against a tree. Headphones on, eyes closed, in her own world…

I watch her for a bit, before starting towards her. I squat and tap her on the shoulder. She sits up and removes her headphones, letting them hang around her neck.

"What're YOU doing, outside?" I tease. It is rare to see Beca outside of rehearsal, the station, or her room.

"I'll have you know…," She deadpans, "I can be semi-social when I really put my mind to it."

I smile at her as she stands, brushing dirt and grass off the back of her pants. "Besides… I know I stayed in my dorm, I would've overslept rehearsal."

"Fair enough," I chuckle, starting towards the auditorium for rehearsal.

"So, how was dance today?" Beca asks, appearing to be genuinely interested.

It warms my heart how much she cares sometimes. (Even though she'll deny it if I tell anyone). It's just really nice to have someone that listens to me and cares enough to ask me about things later, to check in.

"It went surprisingly well," I smile thinking about how quickly my dance technique returned once I started class.

"Any…performances or anything, coming up?"

My eyebrows raise in surprise at Beca's interest in my dancing.

"Uhhm… Well, the first one is a faculty recital-,"

"When's that?" She interjects, pulling her phone out of her jean pocket. I watch as she taps until she opens what appears to be a calendar app.

I feel heat in my cheeks.

_Stop Chloe! Quit blushing, or you'll run her away!_

"That's next Thursday night at 8… Then, there's one with the new dance students the Thursday after that."

I wait for her to finish typing the first date in before I continue,"I'm in the second one. That's also at 8."

She finishes entering the second date as we reach the auditorium.

Practice goes well for the most part. We manage to narrow down our first set to "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics, "Smells like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana and "Where Have You Been" by Rihanna. Practicing all three songs separately to get a feel for them. Then, Beca suggests making a mash-up between the three and the girls seem eager to try it out.

"I'll work up some possibilities tonight and let you all hear it tomorrow." The girls begin to gather their belongings, sensing rehearsal is over. "One last thing before you all leave…"

They stop, giving Beca their undivided attention.

"We know, we know," Fat Amy groans, before the some of the older Bellas join in "MAKE GOOD CHOICES!"


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

POV- Beca

I roll my eyes at the sound of Jesse knocking on the glass of the booth again. Since the shift started, he's been trying to get me to bring him with me to recital tonight. And ALL last week, he's been suggesting that we out and do very "couple-y" activities, like picnicking, going to fancy restaurants, or going to the movies…

I wait until the music starts and wave for him to come in.

"Bec, I really miss you…"

"I miss you too, Jesse." His face lights up.

"…as a friend." I add. Feeling pretty shitty once his face drops again.

"I…that's how I meant it." He shrugs in an attempt to appear unbothered.

"I do miss hanging out with you though," I admit. Thinking back over all the fun times we've had together.

"Then, why can't I come with you to the recital?" He whines.

"Because, I told Chloe I'd go with her."

"Is it a date?" He asks quietly.

"What?! No!"

His eyes narrow as he watches me, suspiciously. His whole demeanor becoming uncharacteristically aggressive and bitter.

"Look," I start, hoping to chill Jesse out,"We can hang after the show tomorrow, okay? Just like old times."

_Take it or leave it, Swanson._

"That would be nice…," He forces a smile before leaving the booth.

Once the shift is over, we manage an awkward hug before going our separate ways.

I meet Chloe in the recital hall before the performance. Even after the lights dim, I can see the childlike excitement in her eyes.

_Fucking adorable. _

Throughout the recital, I find myself watching Chloe more than the performers on the stage. Watching her eyes light up when something impressive happens…smiling when she spouts off some dancer lingo like,

"Oh my God, her FEET!"

Or, "I want my turnout to be like hers"

Or,"Did you SEE that? How is that even possible?"

I find myself smiling even wider when she squeezes my hands excitedly, sending that fluttery feeling through my body.

I'm glad we're finally back to normal.

No feelings or emotions… Just doing what feels right…

After the recital, I walk Chloe back to her dorm. Smiling as she rambles on about the performances. Once we reach her dorm, she turns to face me. Smiling lazily as she leans against the door.

"Thanks for going with me tonight," She cocks her head, resting it against the door as she watches me.

_She's got "that look" in her eyes again. Don't let her invite you in. Just walk away._

"No prob...Goodnight!" I smile up at her, briefly, before starting down the hall, Not giving myself time to appreciate the twinkle in her eyes.

THE NEXT WEEK-

I find myself sitting in the recital hall again as I wait for Chloe's performance. I decided to invite Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose, which I'm regretting more and more as I listen to them talk.

"You know, I was the best dancer in Tasmania…" Fat Amy starts.

"Really?" Cynthia Rose turns to face Fat Amy, curiously.

"Yup. I was the best dancer, with legs, that is," She nods, contently.

Cynthia Rose and I exchange a look, as we try not to laugh.

"Speaking of legs," Cynthia Rose speaks up as the lights dim and an attractive older woman (I assume she's the chair of the dance department) takes the stage. Thanking everyone for their support…reminding us not to use our phones during the performance… that whole deal.

Then the performances begins: First the solos, then the group numbers.

Chloe is the last soloist to come out. I feel my breathing become labored as I take in her appearance.

The messy bun…the sports bra… the spandex shorts… Every muscle showing as she moves across the stage in the most graceful manner.

My thoughts become more inappropriate as me gaze falls to her legs… I think about how strong they felt, wrapped around my waist…thrown over my shoulder.

"Close your mouth," Cynthia Rose whispers, teasing me over what I'd said to her during the first few performances.

_Wait…my mouth is OPEN? Am I drooling?_

I close my mouth, swallowing nervously as I look around Cynthia Rose to see if Fat Amy noticed. But, much to my relief, Fat Amy is preoccupied with a noisy bag of skittles she's been trying (and failing) to eat quietly.

I try to control my breathing (and my thoughts) as her solo comes to an end and the group numbers begin. I'm not gonna lie… it bothers me a little to see some guy holding her and moving with her and lifting her. And looking at her the way he is…

"B… You've got it bad," Cynthia Rose elbows me, but I can tell she's serious this time.

"Lez-be-honest, Beca" Fat Amy interjects, as she pops another skittle into her mouth.

"Why don't you just tell her?" Cynthia Rose persists, no longer talking quietly.

"You guys are delusional. Chloe is just a really close friend…" I lower my voice, noticing the angry stares we're getting.

_A VERY ATTRACTIVE close friend…_

Once the recital is over, we start towards the double doors to wait for Chloe. I recognize a few of the dancers as they walk past with family and friends. Finally, she appears.

"Hey, girls!" She takes her place beside me, linking her arm through mine, "I'm SO glad you all came to support me. I was SO nervous." She tightened her grip on my arm, smiling down at me.

"Of COURSE we came to support you, Chlo," I shoot Cynthia Rose a warning look as she starts to snicker.

With that, we start towards the campus coffee shop, for a congratulatory coffee and cookie outing.

_"Of course we came to support you"? Beca, come on... REALLY? What the fuck is HAPPENING to you?_


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

POV- Chloe

Beca and I have gotten so much closer these past few weeks. I'm at her dorm practically every night. On nights when she has the late shift, I'll walk with her from Bellas' rehearsal and she lets me stay in her dorm as I wait for her to get back from the station.

(Yes, I am aware that it seems very "couple-like"…)

I plop down on her bed and pull my laptop out to occupy myself so I don't fall asleep. Typically, it works, but sometimes there are nights (like tonight) where I'll fall asleep and wake up in the morning with Beca's arms around me.

When I wake up this morning, the sun hasn't even come up. I am surprised to see Beca wide awake, staring up at the ceiling. I lift my head from the pillow and scoot closer, draping an arm around her waist.

"Mmm…" I groan, lazily,"Everything okay?"

"Uhh…yeah" She reassures me, unconvincingly, as she turns to face me and begins to rub my back, "Go back to sleep. I'll wake you up in time for class"

"Nuh uhnn," I protest, groggily but with determination," Not until you tell me what's bothering you."

She exhales, taking a moment to choose her words,"Do you remember that night we watched all those weird videos on youtube… and you asked me why I've never had any serious relationships with girls?"

"Vaguely, yes…" I smile, as I think back.

"And how I told you I couldn't because they always leave?"

"Mmhmm….?" I nod, as more of the night's events come back to me.

She starts, "Well… "

She tells me about her mother. About how close they were. About her being a badass sergeant in the Marines but being a big teddy bear at home (Hmmm…who does THAT sound like?) Then she tells me about her mother having an affair with a lieutenant. It really gets to me because I can hear in her voice that she misses her mom.

"I guess I never really got over it," She finishes.

We lay in silence for a while, until I work up the nerve say something.

"Roll over…"

"What?" Beca's lifts her head from the pillow, confused by my request.

"Just…lemme…," We maneuver awkwardly until Beca's back is to my chest and my arms are around her, "…there."

We talk for the next 2 hours or so until the sun comes up. She opens up more and more as I tell her about my childhood. We talk about everything from first crushes to our dream jobs when we were five to high school activities (apparently, Beca was bassist and vocalist for an indie band she started with some guys she used to get high with)…

"You know," Beca starts as if she's had an epiphany, "…This is actually pretty nice…"

"What is?" I ask, stroking her arm absently with my thumb.

She waves her hand back and forth between us, "THIS. I've been missing out."

"Are you actually ENJOYING the "small dip" life?" I tease.

She snuggles back into me, hugging my arms around her stomach,"Shhh…you'll ruin it…"

And that's the last thing I hear before I let butterflies and sleep overtake me.

Later, at Bellas' rehearsal, we get to work, perfecting the mix Beca made from the songs we chose. I have to say I feel like an annoyingly proud girlfriend when I watch the Bellas' reactions as everything starts to come together.

We even take some time to work on the basics. We work on scales for about 30 minutes, using different syllables. (Which is really amusing once we get to "wow" and "nu").

The way the girls are moving and listening to each other, I can already tell this is going to be a good season.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

POV- Jesse

I can't say it's been easy, but me and Beca are finally back to normal.

Hanging out in the lawns… joking around at the station… watching movies… It's not exactly the kind of relationship I WANTED to have with her, but I guess it's better than nothing.

And it still bothers me that she spends so much time with Chloe. I've had a strange feeling about Chloe from the moment Beca auditioned for the Bellas last year. From the curtains, I had a pretty good view of her. I couldn't help but notice how her head dropped and her how her breathing sped up as her eyes locked on Beca. It was almost predatory…

And now that I'm out of the picture, she's probably trying her hardest to sweep Beca off her feet

_And onto her back…_

I shake the thought out of my head.

_Don't think like that. If Beca hasn't given in yet, she probably won't._

Me and the Trebles unload the bus and head towards the Carolina University Auditorium for the ICCA Regionals. The crowd is so crazy, we can hear them from outside.

Donald throws his arm around my shoulder, playfully,"We got this, man. We gotta throw down and take back what's ours. Know what I'm sayin'?"

We take the stage and I can already feel my heart pumping.

I've never been the competitive type, but there's just something about being on stage that fires me up. It's like I become a different person. I've noticed the same thing happens to Benji. It's like all of a sudden he becomes a panty-dropping womanizer, but as soon as the set is over, he flashes a dorky grin my way.

Once our performance is over, we take a seat in the audience to support the Bellas. It really hurts to watch Beca perform. She always looks so much prettier when she performs. I don't know if it's because she's smiling or because she does her make up differently, but whatever the reason…it makes it about ten times harder for me to pretend everything's okay.

Beca brings the pitchpipe to her lips and blows, identifying the tonic pitch for the Bellas. I'm not surprised when I hear the first four bars of the set. The mezzo-sopranos come in with the guitar riff of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" then the altos join in two bars later with a modulated version of the bassline from "Sweet Dreams". Lily pumps out some complicated dub-step drum and bass line.

I smile to myself.

_Nirvana and Eurythhmics? Only Beca…_

Chloe:"Sweet dreams are made of this… " "Who am I to disagree?"

Beca: "Where have you been?" "Hello… Hello…"

Cynthia Rose: "I travelled the world and the seven seas." "Everybody's looking for something."

Fat Amy: "Where have you been?" "'Cuz I haven't seen you around."

I was surprised at the addition of the Rihanna song. The Bellas really outdid their selves this time…

I let out a sigh, unsure how to deal with all the emotions I'm experiencing right now.

The toner, for one (which is a natural response to Beca's voice, especially in the low register)… being happy for Beca and the girls… sadness… heartbreak… jealousy and uneasiness over the way Chloe keeps glancing at Beca…

Unicycle leans over in his seat so I can hear him over the crowd, "I see ya' hurtin', man. Let her go. I heard she was hooking up with that ginger, anyway. You can do better…"

_WHAT?!_

"WHAT?!" I don't even try to keep my voice down. People around us turn to see what's going on.

"Whoa... dude… " Unicyle jumps back at my outburst, then immediately realizes his mistake and backpedals as he tries to calm me." I mean, it's just a rumor. Maybe it's not true…"

But, it's too late. It's already been said. I stand and start down the aisles to the double doors blocking off the backstage area. I push it open a little harder than I mean to, causing it to slam against the wall behind it.

_It all makes sense now… The looks… the cuddling… the fact that she wouldn't kiss me…_

_But, maybe it really IS just a rumor. Maybe others are seeing what I see and just jumping to conclusions._

I'm going to stand back here and wait for them to finish, because I REALLY don't want to believe this. I just need her to tell me it's not true. That's it's a rumor and that she would never do that to me.

The crowd goes wild as the Bellas sing the final strains of their performance. They file off the stage excitedly.

"Hey, Jess." Beca jabs me playfully, her smirk dropping the moment she notices my expression. The rest of the Bellas stop to watch.

"Beca," I greet her, cutting to the chase,"I need you to be honest with me. "

She noddes, reluctantly.

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" I point to Chloe. I see a few of the Bellas' jaws drop as they watch.

"Whoa… Jesse! We haven't-" Chloe chimes in, defensively.

"That… was just a one-time thing, okay? It's not like it meant anything…" Beca clarifies, her eyebrows and voice raising. (A nervous habit of hers. It only happens when she's lying.)

My jaw drops at the admission. I really don't know what to say. That wasn't the answer I was expecting, "Wow, Beca…"

"Ladies, let's…give them some privacy…," Chloe nudges the Bellas towards the exit, her shoulders have drooped and I can't ignore the slight quiver in her voice.

_It must've meant SOMETHING. And not just for Chloe… _

If it didn't mean anything, Beca wouldn't have had to say it. Like, seriously? Who's she trying to convince here?

"You need to figure out what you want, Beca… Don't even bother calling until you do." I turn and head towards the bus, ignoring her calls after me.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

POV- Beca

"Hey! You've reached Jesse. Leave a message after the epic fanfare!" *beep!*

I end the call, defeated. This is what I hear everytime I try to call him. I can't say I don't deserve it. I've been a real dick to him. I was a shitty girlfriend and now I'm an even shittier friend…

So shitty, in fact, that Jesse doesn't even show up to work at the station for the next two weeks. That's how I know I've really screwed up. Jesse LOVES stacking CDs…

**_"You need to figure out what you want, Beca… Don't even bother calling until you do." _**

I wish it was that easy. The thing is… I honestly don't know what I want.

But, I need to figure it out. Soon.

As the semester comes to a close, I'm actually forced to focus on my classes. With Jesse ignoring me and Chloe being busy preparing for her dance assessment, I don't have much of a choice. I end up finishing the semester with all B's and one C in music history. (I'm surprised I'm even passing, but hey I won't complain)

Luckily, the break goes by quickly. Dad and Sheila are just a little too "cute" for me sometimes. It's sickening, really.

Chloe wastes no time making herself at home again, once we return to school. Before I even have a chance to settle in, there she is knocking at my door. We didn't talk much over the break but we fall back into our routine pretty quickly. Chloe helping me study, me mixing as she sits on the bed with her laptop, her being asleep on my bed when I get in from late shifts at the station. The only thing that bothers me is that she seems to be having disturbing dreams some nights. She'll whimper and scoot back into my chest, pulling my arms around her as she whines in her sleep.

"Why?...Why not?"

As always, I just ignore it and snuggle closer. Making no effort to open my eyes. But tonight, I can't ignore the faint sniffles and the violent shaking of her body. My eyes snap open as she begins to sob, quietly. Her sniffles echoing throughout my room…

_She's terrified… What's she dreaming about? The Semi-Finals?_

I consider waking her so I can calm her down and comfort her. Do whatever. But I stop when Chloe's whines start up again.

"Why not, Beca?" She asks quietly

_What?_

"Please… "

_Umm…_

Unsure what to do, I begin to (awkwardly) hum some random melody. Relief washing over me when she finally stops shaking and her breathing returns to normal.

_I wonder if I should talk to her about these dreams she's having? _

After an internal dispute, I decide to ask her after the Semi-Finals. I wouldn't want to bring it up before the performance and stress her out more.

ICCA SEMI-FINALS-

After two long weeks of Bellas' rehearsal and studying, it's time for the ICCA Semi-Finals. Thanks to Fat Amy, we end up parking next to the Trebles. We exchange (somewhat) friendly competitive words with the guys as we unload the buses and start towards the auditorium. Other than a death glare Jesse gives as he maneuvers past me, he doesn't acknowledge me. No friendly wave. No... "Be-CAW!".

I watch the show from backstage with the rest of the Bellas. The competition is much better this year. I'm actually pretty glad to see the B Harmonics and The Sock-a-pellas return. I always find their sets cute and entertaining. As the Treblemakers take the stage, I try not to pay too much attention to Jesse. Which is hard considering he's singing the lead.

I feel soft fingers lacing through mine as the Trebles finish up and make their way past us. Jesse making it clear that he wants nothing to do with me, right now. My first instinct is to pull my hand away and sock whoever it is, but I stop the moment I feel another hand rubbing the inside of my arm comfortingly.

"I'm sorry, Beca…," I smile at the softness of the familiar voice, blinking the tears away before they have a chance to fall… Squeezing the hand gratefully as I recognize the voice as Chloe's. I turn to meet her eyes.

I can't help but wonder why she is apologizing. I mean, sure she was the one I slept with, but it's not like SHE started it. I can't really get mad at her for anything. If there's anyone to blame, it's me.

_But, that's Chloe for you._

"Let's do this," She mouths, nudging me playfully before unlacing our fingers and filing onto the stage with the rest of the Bellas. She winks back at me, as I file on last.

Once again, the crowd absolutely loves our performance. Looking for anyway to participate, they join in. Clapping and singing when they recognize part of a song.

When the performance is over, we all rush of the stage excitedly. Exchanging hugs and high fives… squealing to contain our excitement…

Because this performance was better than any performance we've ever done and we KNOW we're going to the finals. A few of the girls stop and stare at something behind me. Jaws dropped as they dart back and forth between the figure and myself. Chloe offers a nod and nervous smile.

_What the-?_

I turn around and find myself looking into dark blue eyes that match my own.

Eyes I haven't seen in years…


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

POV- Chloe

"What are YOU doing here?" Beca asks harshly. Making it clear that she doesn't want to see the uniformed woman, who responds with an eyeroll.

_Not the interaction I was hoping for…_

My eyes fall to the nameplate on her right breast: NELSON.

I take a moment to appreciate the similarities between the two women. Their height… eyes… mannerisms… wavy chocolate locks…(the only difference being the few grey strands sprinkled through the older woman's mane)…

_Beca really is the spitting image of her mother…_

"I came to support my daughter," the woman smiles, nervously.

The cynic in Beca speaks, wrinkling her face in disgust as she shoots her mother down, "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"

They go on like this for a while and I begin to feel guilty over the fact that I had something to do with this little rendezvous. I wave my hand at the Bellas and toss the bus keys to Fat Amy for the girls to go on to the bus. It doesn't take long before Beca takes on a louder, harsher tone.

"What makes you think you can keep showing up and disappearing from my life when you want?!" Her eyes shine and her jaw sets in a way I've never seen before. I've never seen her this angry and I have to admit, it is a bit frightening.

"Beca…?," I reach for her hand and to calm her.

She pulls away, turning to face me. I know what's coming…

"Did YOU have something to do with this?" The tone of her voice is so harsh, so unlike her… I can only step away in fear of what's going to happen once I tell her.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Starting, reluctantly,"Well… I… your dad saw me walking and told me she wanted to see you again," I choose my words carefully as Beca begins to shake her head in what appears to be a mix of anger and disbelief, "… and I KNOW you miss her Beca. I just thought I was helping."

Beca lets out a sigh of frustration,"Well, you thought wrong… I'm not gonna give her a fucking 'Mom of the Year' Award, because she shows up for a DAY."

I can't ignore the silent tear that finds its way onto Mrs. Nelson's cheek. How it rolls down her cheek onto the collar of her pressed uniform blouse. I can tell she misses Beca, too.

"Beca… Please? Just give her a chance?" I press on, ignoring the fury in her eyes.

_Maybe she'll cave?_

"Honey…," Her mother tries, weakly. Reaching out to grab Beca's hand.

"NO!" Beca steps back. Her voice now elevating to a yell. Her hands raise to her head, rubbing her temples as she tries to fight back tears. "JESUS!… I can't deal with both of you right now."

"Okay…sorry." I back off, realizing my mistake.

Before I know it, I'm walking across the parking lot, wiping away tears that seem to flow endlessly. As I reach the bus, I drop down into my seat and close my eyes to slow the tears. At this moment, I can feel the girls' eyes on me and I hear a few whispers and murmurs of "Should we go check on her?", "What happened?","Did they have a fight?", and "Uh oh, here she comes…"

At the last one, I open my eyes to see Beca coming onto the bus. She makes her way to my seat and I can see she hasn't calmed down since I left. If anything, she looks angrier.

"You had NO right to invite her, Chloe." She continues onto her seat across the aisle, but something makes me stand. The rest of the Bellas watch in confusion. Their eyes going back and forth during our exchange, as if it is a tennis match.

"You can push me away all you want, Beca. But she's your MOTHER… you actually need to have a relationship with her."

"No, I don't. "

"Beca, you're making it really hard for me to be here for you…"

"Then DON'T! I didn't ask you to…" With that, she drops down into her seat and pulls those damn oversized headphones over her ears. Turning her back to me as she rests her head against the window. Blocking me out.

I'm not sure what to say to this, so I do the same. Hoping to drown out my thoughts and the cries of my aching heart the only way I know how. Music.


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

POV- Jesse

I want so badly to just stay mad at Beca. To go in that booth and gloat… but after witnessing that whole scene unfold at the Semi-Finals between her, Mrs. Nelson, and Chloe, I'm not sure HOW I feel. I should be happy to see her so miserable. Moping around the station… her phone being uncharacteristically idle… most of her mixes being sad love songs by Bruno Mars or something like that…

But, I can't. Especially when I look into the booth and see her shed one silent tear during her mix of _Just the Way You Are _and _Just A Dream._

That's when I decide it's time for me to swallow my pride and be there for her. Not because I feel sorry for her or because I feel guilty for secretly wanting her to have a fight with Chloe…( okay, maybe a little…it's partly because of that). But it's more because It hurts me to see her pushing away people that love her. And as much as I hate to admit it…

Chloe DOES love her. Perhaps more than I did.

After seeing her risk their friendship/relationship (whatever the hell they were) just to help Beca fill that void in her heart with her mother… I see that Chloe isn't just some horny girl with a crush on the girl that I thought I loved. She is a friend that genuinely loves Beca and is willing to be put her needs aside so Beca can be happy. And by needs, I mean her more than friendly love for Beca.

I think back to Beca's harsh tone as we loaded our bus beside theirs. The Bellas' windows might as well have been down.

**_"You can push me away all you want, Beca. But she's your MOTHER… you actually need to have a relationship with her."_**

**_"No, I don't. "_**

**_"Beca, you're making it really hard for me to be here for you…"_**

**_"Then DON'T! I didn't ask you to…"_**

I finish stacking the CDs on the cart and wait for Beca to go to commercial break before entering the booth. The moment I see her face I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet.

The mix between relief that I'm actually acknowledging her and fear of what will actually come of this encounter… then there's the smudged eyeliner and the puffiness around her eyes… the pinkness in the tip of her nose…

_God, she's so broken right now…_

I take a seat in the extra chair beside her. She slides her headphones off so that they're dangling around her neck. With a sympathetic smile, I take her hands. Scooting my chair as close as possible so that our knees touch.

And that's when she begins to sob. Somewhere in there, if I'm not mistaking, I'm pretty positive I hear a "I'm so sorry," and a "Thank you for being here for me".

"It's nothing really… we were friends before all this." I begin to rub small circles into her palm with my thumb. Hoping to calm her. It does the trick… (somewhat.) "Now, tell me what happened?"

She takes a breath and starts again. Already, she's speaking more coherently. "I really fucked up Jesse. I fucked up, BIG TIME…"

"How so?" I ask, curiously.

"I told Chloe to leave me alone. But, I don't want that. I don't want that all…"

_She's gonna say it. This is it. I can feel it._

"Oh, hold on a sec," she sniffles and turns to the computer to start another mix to buy us some time. She turns back to me and places her hands back in mine. "I'm so used to spending all my time with her… waking up next to her, cuddling, studying… you know? I really miss that."

"You love her, don't you?"

"What? " Beca tilts her head as if she's never considered it.

"Beca… you can't be this naïve. So, my next guess is that you're in denial. "

"But, like… how would I know? How do you KNOW if you love someone? I can't love her, though. I don't do love."

I roll my eyes. Obviously, I'm going to have to help her see what everyone else sees. "Tell me the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Chloe."

Beca takes a moment to think about what I've just asked her. After a while, the faintest smile appears on her face and she's gathered enough courage to think about things I believe she's never allowed herself to think about.

"Her smile… the way her eyes just kinda look right through me… how she always knows when I'm stressing over a test or something and she just shows up… or how she always knows when I need her to hold me… the way my chest kinda hurts when I think about her, but it's like a good feeling at the same time… "

I smile to myself. Knowing my suspicions have been confirmed.

"Wow… you do. You love her."

"I LOVE her?" She repeats to herself, as if trying it on for size. Then, a little more sure of herself, she smiles and says it again, "I love her."

Her smile drops as she remembers something, "But… how do I know she feels the same? I mean… even if she did, there's no way she does after the way I treated her…," She sits back in her chair, defeated.

"Are you serious, right now? Have you seen the way she looks at you? Why do you think it bothered me so much when you said you two were hanging out?"

"I don't know…,"

"Because of those toners,"

At this, Beca chuckles and pulls me into an awkward in-chair hug, where I have to keep from leaning into much, or I'm going to fall flat on my face.

"Thank you, Jesse," her voice muffled by my shoulder.

Yes… This hug may be awkward, but it's perfect. Because, for once, we're hugging each other and we're both on the same page.

* * *

A/N: Guys, feel free to review. Leave some suggestions/constructive criticisms, if you want. I've hit a bit of a rough patch between this point and I'm trying to figure out how to tie this in to the ending I've worked out.

Or,

In the words of Anna Kendrick: "Is this okay? Please validate me."


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

POV- Beca

Turns out we snagged first place at the Semi's, giving us a definite spot in the finals. So, we've got to practice hard for the next six weeks. That is, if we plan to bring home the gold again. But, with the way practices have been going, I have faith that the girls will do just that. The only thing that bothers me is the tension in the auditorium. (Most of it coming from Chloe, and totally my fault so I can't blame her.)

It's been over two weeks since the Semi-Finals and Chloe has yet to speak to me outside of rehearsal. She doesn't even look at me anymore. She just kind of, calls my name and starts talking… And it really sucks. I find myself longing for those occasional smiles, she used to flash my way whenever the girls were doing a good job… Or her laugh.

_God, I miss all of that. I just miss HER._

I'd give anything just for her to smile at me again. Just to LOOK at me again. To talk TO me and not "at" me or near me.

It's gotten to the point where it takes everything in me not to tear up at Bruno Mars or David Guetta. It's absolutely ridiculous… But I'm not ashamed, at all. Not anymore, at least. I've made subtle attempts to tell her how I feel on the radio show. Everything short of saying her name and literally begging her to forgive me for being such a dick… Saying things like, "This song is dedicated to someone that means the world to me, I hope she knows who she is," or playing songs I know she loves (you know, any and every song that's as cute as she is, like "All The Small Things," by Blink 182, "Nothing On You" by B.o.B and Bruno Mars, or "Smile" by Lily Allan).

Although, I'm not sure if she even still listens to the show.

Another week goes by and I try something a little bolder. I decide to change the set list to Rihanna's "We Found Love" mashed up with The Proclaimers' "500 Miles" making a point to look at her whenever I sing, hoping she'll catch on, but she never does…

So, here I am sitting in front of my computer after hours of mixing… Only to realize that all of my mixes are about Chloe in one way or another…

I sampled James Blunt's "Your Beautiful" and put in under "Titanium" (which should've been a dead give-away), I made a dub-step of Nirvana's "About a Girl"…

_This has got to stop._

I pull my phone out and slide my thumb across the glass to unlock it, poking and prodding through my contact list until I come to Chloe's number.

I want to call her and fix all this, but I'm not sure what I would even say. "Hey, sorry for being an ass, but I love you. Wanna go out?"

_Uhh, yeah… I'll get right on that._

My eyes fall on the number directly above hers. (Which I lovingly added as "Aca-Bitch"). We didn't always see eye to eye, but we got much closer once I apologized and came back to the Bellas last year. And one thing we have in common is that we both love Chloe…

After a small pep-talk, I swallow my pride and decide that it couldn't hurt to call. After the third ring, I start to lose hope and pull the phone away from my face. Just as I'm about to end the call, I hear her.

"Hello?" Aubrey's clear voice comes through the receiver.

Silence.

I lose track of time as I try to figure out how to go about this. Not realizing how long I actually keep Aubrey waiting.

I can hear the irritation in her voice when she finally speaks again," I know about the fight, Beca. If you're calling because you want my help, the answer is n-…"

"I… I love her…" I interrupt, not wanting her to reject me just yet. Because I really don't know who else to turn to. And I really don't want to lose Chloe.

"You- You THINK you do? Or, you KNOW you do? Because, all you've done is play games with her since hood night last year!" Aubrey's tone much like a mother chastising her child." I'm not going to help you if you're just going to hurt her every time you get scared."

I don't realize I'm crying until my gaze falls to the desk and I see the small puddle I've left. Because it's true. Everything Aubrey's saying is true and I can't even deny it.

"She finally told me about what happened that night after my graduation party… ," Aubrey continues," I always had a feeling something happened. She was so out of it the next day. Not like, CRYING or anything… but definitely out of it."

I let my head fall into my free hand as I get the mental image of Chloe… Waking up after a seemingly perfect night… alone. The tears only come harder. At this point, I don't even care if Aubrey can hear it. I'm bawling.

"She told me how special it was to her… How it was different being with you, as opposed to anyone else she'd ever slept with… how she felt so connected to you and how she knew you felt it too because of the way your eyes twinkled… then she told me how you ditched her the next day. Shrugging it off as if it was no big deal!" Aubrey's voice now full of anger. "Then, you YELL at her for trying to reunite you and your mother?"

_Shit! I really am an ass… I don't deserve to be with Chloe. Maybe this is actually for the best._

Aubrey exhales, calmer now that she's finished ripping me a new one. "And… for some strange reason, she still loves you."

_What?_

"What?" I manage, speaking for the second time since I called.

"She does." Aubrey adds softly.

_Maybe I still have a chance?_

"Now... I'm GOING to help you. I just wanted to establish that you were an Aca-Bitch and that you CAN NOT screw this up, understand?"

"I understand," I choke out, realizing the seriousness of her words.

"Good… because if you hurt her again, so help me GOD-,"

"I won't. I promise." I cut her off, making sure she can hear the sincerity in my voice. Because I want her to know how much Chloe means to me. (And because I really don't want to know what was going to be at the end of that sentence.)

"Okay," Aubrey starts. "Here's what we're gonna do…"

A/N: I do not own any of these songs. I am WELL aware of this. Please don't sue me? You'll find that I am dirt poor.

But, anywhoo… please leave reviews. Thanks to everyone who has been, so far. Everybody else, I'm assuming, either REALLY likes it or REALLY don't.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

POV- Chloe

ICCA Nationals-

The girls and I gather for an Aca-Huddle before going onto the stage. I throw my arms around the two Bellas nearest me and ignore the slightly hurt look on Beca's face as she walks around to the other side to fill the gap. After an attempt at a motivational speech from Fat Amy (which really just leaves us snickering more than anything), we break for an "Ahh," on 3.

The male announcer speaks excitedly into the microphone as he welcomes us to the stage,"And, NOW… the defending ICCA Champions… THE BARDEN BELLAS!"

We take our places on the stage, and I must say it throws me to hear the audience cheering for us the way they are. In all my years at Barden University, we've never had this kind of reception and we've never had NEARLY this much support. Even the chauvinist in the press box supports us now.

The whistle of the pitch pipe brings me back to reality.

_This is it! Get ready!_

"1…2…3…4…"

Lilly and I come in with the beat and bass line of Rihanna's "We Found Love,". A few of the other girls join in with harmonies and scratch noises and phasing sounds as Beca's soft voice fills the auditorium,

"When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the woman who wakes up next to you

When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the woman who goes along with you…"

I'm too caught up in keeping the bass line and remembering steps to realize the pair of dark blue eyes that keep looking my way. It isn't until the point of the routine right before we transition into half-time that my eyes meet hers.

I'd forgotten how beautiful they are. How beautiful she is…

Then, I realize I'd totally forgotten I was supposed to be laying down the bass. Lilly shoots me a confused look and I find a way back in at the beginning of the bar. Of course, it wasn't intentional, but the crowd loves it. They go wild once we reach the chorus and slow down to half-time. Fat Amy and Denise come in with their "wows", helping to create the dubstep vision Beca had. She flashes a smile of approval as she begins to sing the chorus. The sopranos come in under her.

"But I would walk 500 miles

(We found love)

And I would walk 500 more

(We found love in a hopeless place)

Just to be the woman who walked 1000 miles

(We found love)

To fall down at your door."

(We found love at your door)

When the performance is over, my eyes find Beca's again. Even with the chaos going on right now… applause… the hoots and hollers from the Trebles (who have been surprisingly more supportive lately)… the standing ovation…

Even through all that, Beca's eyes never leave mine.

_Was she singing to ME?_

_She couldn't be… She doesn't do love… And she made it pretty clear that she doesn't want me around. That she can't "deal with me"._

Familiar emotions wash over me for the first time since Semi-Finals. I force one last smile at the audience before making my way off the stage, leaving the Bellas to celebrate our obvious victory. In desperate need of air, I walk back to the bus. Curling up in my seat as my thoughts go back to Beca. I'd done such a good job ignoring her these past few weeks. Doing my best not to think about her or even look at her…

_Why can't she just let me love her? Why can't she just admit that she loves me, too?_

Just as I feel the tears surface. I hear the door to the bus open. I lift my head and let my feet fall to the floor as my eyes lock with hers again.

"Uh... hey," She starts nervously, "I know I'm probably the last person you wanna see right now."

_No… that's not true._

"I can never express how truly sorry I am. For everything… ," Her voice trails off and I watch as she fidgets nervously. She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a flashdrive. "I really suck at this, but I want you to know how I feel."

_How you feel?_

"Promise me you'll check every file?" She asks, with pleading eyes. Beautiful, soft, blue eyes…

_I can't say no to that face…_

Not wanting to seem too excited about the fact that she's actually talking to me, I look away and nod. "Sure."

LATER THAT NIGHT-

I dry my hair and flop down on my hotel bed as Aubrey lays back on the other bed, surfing through channels. "These hotels always have the shittiest selection of channels. It's all ESPN and pay-per-view porn, essentially." She complains.

I'm glad she came to support us today. It's really made the trip a lot easier to bear.

After a while, she turns the tv off and turns to face me, "Did you ever look at that flashdrive Beca gave you? I remember you mentioning it earlier."

_I haven't forgotten. I'm just… nervous._

"Oh … I forgot," I lie.

"Yeah…," Aubrey smiles knowingly as she hops up and goes to the bathroom.

_Hmmm… _

I pull my laptop from my suitcase and boot it. I pull the flashdrive out of my purse from earlier and roll it in my fingers as I wonder what could be on it.

_I'm sure it's just a bunch of mixes…_

I think back to the way Beca looked when she gave it to me… practically begging me with her eyes.

**"Promise me you'll check every file?" She asked.**

**"Sure," I said.**

_Stop PSYCHING yourself out and just put it in already!_

I insert the usb and open the folder to view the files. As I suspected, most of them are mixes, but the last file is a word document titled, "To Chloe" and the second to last file isn't a mix at all, it just says "Wonderwall,"

I hover my mouse over the very first file and select it, letting it play. As the first few bars of "Titanium" blare from the speakers I realize I haven't plugged in my headphones.

I hear Aubrey, groan and begin to complain through from the bathroom, "Seriously, Chlo? Just knock when you're finished, okay?"

"You're safe, 'Brey… ," I chuckle as I plug in my earbuds and listen to the rest of the song. The song eventually phases into a mix of Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are" and James Blunt's "You're Beautiful", but I'm surprised to hear Beca singing the vocals. Blending the lyrics ingeniously.

"When I see your face… …there's not a single thing I'd change."

(You're beautiful… You're beautiful… You're beautiful, it's true.)

"Girl you're amazing …just the way you are."

(You're beautiful, it's true.)

Aubrey emerges from the bathroom just in time to catch me swooning. The rest of the mixes are equally beautiful. Some are just remixes of my favorite songs and others actual seem to have meaning.

I reach the "Wonderwall" file and feel the pressure building.

_I'm gonna cry… I know it._

I hear Beca's nervous chuckle in my earphones and feel my pulse pick up as I imagine her crooked smile.

_"It's been a while, sooo… I hope this doesn't sound too bad… it just reminds me of you, so… uh…yeah."_ She rambles adorably.

The next thing I hear is the recognizable strumming of "Wonderwall" and Beca's voice.

So strong… but noticeably more vulnerable than I've ever heard it.

_What does all this mean? _

_I mean, maybe she means all this from a best friend's point of view and I shouldn't get my hopes up…_

I let the file continue to play and open the word document.

It reads:

To Chloe,

I'd like to start this off by saying I'm sorry. You've been the best friend I could ever ask for and I just keep treating you horribly. I can never apologize enough. You are truly the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. I've taken you for granted, and that's not what you deserve. You deserve so much more. I'm going to spend the rest of my life seeing that you are as happy as you can be, because it seems like all I've done is hurt you lately. But, I promise I'll never hurt you again. I want to make happy. I want to make you as happy as you make me.

This is new to me. These feelings I get when I'm with you. I've never felt anything like this before and to be honest, it scares the shit out of me. But, I can try to be brave for you.

That night after we threw the graduation party for Aubrey, I felt like we shared something special. As cliché as it sounds, I felt like we made love. I wanted nothing more than to lay there and wake up tangled with you, but I freaked because I wasn't used to having those feelings. But, I am now. And, I want nothing more than to have these feelings with you. But, I've screwed up and I totally understand if you don't want that with me. Just know that, I love you, Chloe. I always have.

P.S I even called my mom and apologized. We're slowly getting to know each other again. Thank you for bringing her back into my life…

I have to read the document over a few times to make sure I'm not seeing things. But, I'm not. The tears begin to flow as if a dam just burst. I fall back into the soft sheets of the hotel bed, taking in a breath as I remember this moment. For the first time in months, I can say I am crying tears of joy.


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

POV- Beca

It's been over a week and a half since I gave Chloe the flash drive. I still haven't heard from her, so I'm guessing I finally pushed her to her limit. I don't blame her… I was horrible to her and she deserves much better. She deserves flowers and kisses and cuddles and things I wish I could give her, but I was just a little too late coming to my senses.

KNOCK KNOCK!

An authoritative knock interrupts my pity party. I shuffle over to the door and unlock it, already having good idea who it is. As I turn and begin to shuffle back to the computer desk, my door swings open and instead of my dad, I hear Aubrey's stern voice.

"Get dressed, let's go!"

"Wha-?" I turn around to see the Bellas filing into my room and making themselves comfortable.

"We are ALL going to Chloe's final recital now and YOU need to be there, so hurry up and get dressed."

"I AM dressed…" I look down at my tank top and oversized jogging pants.

Aubrey chuckles and gives me the once over before shaking her head.

_What's the use in getting dressed up anyway? I already blew my chance with her. I don't know if I can handle this…_

After some whining and a few threats from Aubrey, I find myself sitting in the recital hall in my best flannel and boots (because that's really all I've got). I don't pay attention to the first few dancers, and I find myself making a conscious effort not to look at the stage as Chloe takes her place in the middle of the stage.

_I can't do this… I can't do this… I can't do this…_

I slide down in my seat and close my eyes, willing this to go by faster. Just as I consider leaving, I hear the first few bars of "Wonderwall" and raise my head a little as the strumming pattern begins to sound familiar. Then, my voice fills the recital hall and I realize this is the cover I gave Chloe, when I told her how I felt. Once I've gathered the courage to raise my head completely, I find her eyes locked on mine just as she begins to move… Pirouettes, leaps, vertical extensions, and some of THE most graceful tumbles I have ever seen…

The way she moves across the stage seems to work perfectly with the guitar and it almost seems as if she IS dancing the music… Leaving it all on the stage…

I feel like the biggest baby fanning my eyes and blinking about 50 times a second just so I don't start bawling in front of the rest of the girls. I exhale deeply, getting my emotions under control. Cynthia leans over to tease me about how "bad" I've got in, but I can't even deny it this time.

Unlike most of the other dancers, when Chloe's performance is over, she doesn't go backstage. She takes the side steps and makes her way down the side aisle. Before I even realize what I'm doing, I'm squeezing past parents and other Barden students to get to the aisle. Muttering "excuse me, sorry" more times than I can count.

But it's all worth it when I reach Chloe and she takes my face in both hands. It's SO worth it when her trembling lips meet mine and I feel the tears on my face. Because nothing else matters at this moment. Just Chloe.

Just this warm, tingly sensation that I've been denying for almost two years. Just the look in her eyes when she pulls away and smiles. Knowing that she's finally got what she wants, and I've finally figured out what I want.


End file.
